Pot JokesMemes, within the cannabis community,. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. Pot Jokes This joke may contain profanity. Hilarious Pothead Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Pothead Jokes In honor of 420 tomorrow, here's a weed joke. What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him? A congregator. Pot Jokes New Jokes Funniest Pot Jokes I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. A collection of funny jokes about marijuana to share with your friends or other potheads. Suddenly a huge ball of flames rises up before him and vanishes in the sky. The Best Weed Memes For True Cannabis Enthusiasts You'll know it once you try CBG. 👍︎ 18 💬︎ 2 comments 👤︎ u/BoopiesCoin 📅︎ Aug 31 2019 🚨︎ report. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb?. A fat guy, a sex addict, and a pothead. "A hydroponic marijuana store is being opened in California and is being called 'The Wal-Mart of Weed. Learn how to be the funniest (and the most high) in the room from this post. Why did the pot head plant cheerios?. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. A little later they see an elephant prepared to snort cocaine. How do you know you're a pothead? Via BuzzFeed. ” “Wait, jail sells weed?!” Did you hear about the stoners that robbed the dispensary? They cased the joint first. ’s 10 best jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Here are some of the all-time classic examples: "Weed. Trump arrest = pot brownie Calling him “the king of scandals,” Wood then joked about former President Donald Trump and said his recent arraignment when he was faced with a 34-count felony. A: A pot belly Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse. What do you call a place where marijuana is legal but alcohol isn’t? High and dry. Where you bean all my life? What did. Read marijuana strain jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud. What did the green tree frog say after lighting up? A. A pun is a joke that exploits the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings. A mother is cooking in her kitchen when A mother is cooking in her kitchen when she picks up the pot. He wants to put the Pot back in. “You either love weed, or you’re wrong. I am sure you used puns even without realizing that it is a pun. They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, Ching Chong Chang. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy. Pothead Humor, 420 Stoner Jokes, Reefer Puns. What do you call an alligator that is always stirring up trouble? An instigator. Hilarious Pothead Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Pothead Jokes In honor of 420 tomorrow, here's a weed joke. Score: 7. Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop! Unfortunately, as funny as it is, this is still an actual reality. How do you know you're a pothead? You studied five days for a urine test. Here are some fun puns that bring music and coffee together. A mother is cooking in her kitchen when A mother is cooking in her kitchen when she picks up the pot. I smoke to get high because the world is so low. What did the leaf ask his big bud? A. Why was it wong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs? Because he said Bang Ding Ow!. Answer: His dealer lived on the other side. A genie comes out of the pot and says " You have one whisk, use it wisely". The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. "Congratulations, you freed me from my captivity!. ’ That’s bullshit; I never forget to smoke. Indian Spiced Chard and Potatoes. What do you get when you eat marijuana? A pot belly. At 90 years old she attended medical school -She’s a cadaver. Fatty's Day -- I won't be wearing green, but I will be smoking it. ” “Wait, jail sells weed?!” Did you hear about the stoners that robbed the dispensary? They cased the. MARIJUANA JOKES - WEED JOKES - FUNNY POT JOKES. Planning out the holiday potluck in the company kitchen. 16 Bruce Jingles on Weed Getting a Bad Rep “‘You know marijuana affects the memory. Marijuana Jokes. Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field? The pot was calling the cattle back. Again, the flaming ball rises and the stoner watches in awe. How do fish get stoned? From seaweed. B: Burners? M: Yeah but there's another word for them G: Yeah. In fact, according to the latest search data available to us, jokes for. What do you call a gator that works at the courthouse? A litigator. /humor/jokes-for-stoners/. cannabis bowl vaporizer bong joint colloquialism bloodstream lungs. Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" A pothead, a rapist and a dog killer walk into a bar. What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs? Double jointed. *Marijuana Party Joke" A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. 4 If two stoners are in the backseat, then who's driving? 223 votes The cop. Chances are, they’ll think you’re dope! 50 Best Weed Puns. He drank tea before it was cool. This can be a convincing optical illusion when you’ve got the munchies. We've listed the funniest chai jokes we know on this list of spicy wisecracks for anyone who likes to drink tea. He wants to put the Pot back in. The largest container we have in our house is a tea pot. 🤔 I am over 18 A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven. You can bookmark this page if you are certain you will want to entertain your stoner friends with these hilarious bits. Best weed jokes ever - Unijokes. Here are a few hilarious frog jokes to look upon. Leiderman) and 1 Ton (born James. Potluck: A potluck is a communal gathering where each guest or group contributes a different, often homemade, dish of food to be shared. They have become a way to bond, laugh, and commiserate over what it’s like to love weed when you’re short on cash, short on time, or short on resources. It’s hard to espresso my feelings for you. The phone rings at the FBI headquarters. (Because Inflammable THC Jokes and Weed Grower 420 TLC Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Colorado, Dude!) Warning: Proceed to 420 at Your Own Risk!. Over 2 million people meant to show up. President Joe Biden shakes hands with comedian Roy Wood Jr. Looking for a good weed reefer ence. A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life Our Hardest Riddles Ever The Law of Coffee If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to. Q: What do you call a stoners wife? A: Mississippi Q: What does marijuana and the Carolina Panthers have in common? A: They both get smoked in bowls. If there are two potheads in the. What does 4/20 mean? April 20, or 4/20 in its calendar denotation, is a holiday celebrated by many weed-smokers both in the United States and around the globe. Here are 10 jokes that had us in stitches. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!". Why is your engine so loud? Because it’s full of dank buds! The cop is probably going to bust you for that one. Pot Jokes This joke may contain profanity. What’s the best Beatles’ song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be! What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common? Both are no good without cream!. Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field? The pot was calling the cattle back. Don’t fear the reefer Weed go well together High spirits God made weed, man-made beer, in god we trust Marijuana – Nature’s way of saying high The most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it People call stoners lazy, but the blunt doesn’t pass itself Inhale the good sh t and exhale the bad sh t Good buds stick together Flower power. 100 Hilarious Weed Jokes 1. Use any quick-cooking greens you like, such. I guess he was high on my list of priorities. Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. ” – Hugh Hefner “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf. Wake up and bake up on 420 for smokin' pot jokes, zoner humor, and stoner puns you ganja love. COPY JOKE By: Augustin ( 1) ( 0) The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. Each year April 20 rolls around and weed smokers pass the pipe, reveling in their love for the. *What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?. 10 Hilarious Stoner Jokes. Becuase burning it will get you stoned. Hicks (@SpencerLenox) March 29, 2012. Funniest Pot Jokes I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. A: Because pot holder was taken Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed? A: Neither did I. Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn’t inhale? A: Mr. - My elephant friend, drop the cocaine, come run with us. MARIJUANA JOKES - WEED JOKES - FUNNY POT JOKES. Plenty of aromatics, such as onions, garlic, a small amount of spices and fresh herbs make this dish very flavorful. How do you know you're a pothead? Via BuzzFeed. This list has gathered together plenty of funny weed jokes. /humor/jokes-for-stoners/. What did the stoner call his girlfriend who had a houseful of cats on catnip? A. More jokes about: cop, weed Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are. Trump arrest = pot brownie Calling him “the king of scandals,” Wood then joked about former President Donald Trump and said his recent arraignment when he was faced with a 34-count felony. Cannabis Puns, Weed Jokes, Flammable 420 Humor. One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. How do you know when you have smoked enough pot? Via Vibe. Memes, within the cannabis community, are their own universe. com - 32 Weed jokes animal asian black people blonde chemistry Chuck Norris dad dead baby desert island dirty fat gay IT jewish kids knock-knock lesbian little Johnny marriage math mexican nerd poems racist redneck sex stupid white people women Yo mama The best weed jokes. This is a complete list of stoner jokes. Q: What do you call a stoners wife? A: Mississippi Q: What does marijuana and the Carolina Panthers have in common? A: They both get smoked in bowls. When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself I’m on the seaweed diet, I see weed, and I smoke it Free your mind one puff at a time You have to cough to get off I live the high life Smoke weed. What does 4/20 mean? April 20, or 4/20 in its calendar denotation, is a holiday celebrated by many weed-smokers both in the United States and around the globe. What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot! What’s its favorite Bob Marley song? Don’t Worry, Be Frappé. Pothead Jokes In honor of 420 tomorrow, here's a weed joke. Memes, within the cannabis community, are their own universe. Because pot holder was already spoken for I think you're dope Weeding out the weak Pot Luck Weed out the bad The seaweed diet is when you see weed and smoke it Weed my lips THC you later A stoner who smokes too much weed is a baked potato Reefer gladness How do fish get stoned? Seaweed You're my best bud How high are you Don't mind us. Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard? A: A Joint Family. A pothead finds a strangely looking old oil lamp in the trash and rubs it to clean it up a bit when suddenly a genie comes out of it. Marijuana go out to dinner? Herbivoire. Over the past few years, memes have rapidly evolved from harmless observations about our daily lives to a whole new world of humor that treads a thin line between hilarious and bizarre. I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but I had to stop. “I never joined high school, I joined school high. More jokes about: alcohol, sex, time, vulgar, weed. It's a day for smokers to celebrate. So light a joint and get ready to laugh, here. Send these hilarious weed puns to your stoner friends in a funny text message or a cheeky greeting in a birthday card. ) Confucius says, "He who smokes weed on the toilet is high on pot. Delving Into The Weeds Joint Effort High Heals Danksgiving Mary had a little gram, her Trich's were white as snow "Happy St. 1 What do you call a stoner dropping weed on the floor? 233 votes Drug abuse 2 Did you hear about the kid who overdosed on weed? 213 votes Neither did I. Funny Weed Quotes By The Unknown! “A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away. A rabbit is running in the woods, he sees a giraffe smoking pot. Don’t fear the reefer Weed go well together High spirits God made weed, man-made beer, in god we trust Marijuana – Nature’s way of saying high The most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it People call stoners lazy, but the blunt doesn’t pass itself Inhale the good sh t and exhale the bad sh t Good buds stick together Flower power. Pothead Humor, 420 Stoner Jokes, Reefer Puns. OQ0g-" referrerpolicy="origin" target="_blank">See full list on myplantin. Why don't men in the Middle East smoke weed? Only women get stoned. " Making Your Own There's a lot of potential jokes and puns to be made about cannabis. Didn't Snoop Dogg change his name? Or was Snoop Lyin'? Edit: Just in case the king sees this, I got mad respect for. A collection of funny jokes about marijuana to share with your friends or other potheads. Funniest Pot Jokes I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. Sorry for my blunt ness, that’s just how I roll. What do you call parents who connect over their love of. on roasting Biden, showcasing Alabama and why he wants Kay Ivey on ‘The Daily Show’ Trump arrest = pot brownie. Pothead laughs: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed. Answer: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter. A teabag's college friend told her a longwinded story about people she didn't know. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? Via Meme Generator. What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo? Yung flung dung. *How do you know your a pothead? You studied five days for a urine test *How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? Wave. Stoner stories, marijuana, marijuana stories, funny stories, marijuana jokes, stoned stories, high stories, stoner jokes, StonerDays Interviews: Cowboy Diplomacy “Easier When I’m Stoned”. These jokes will make you sound like your dad (in the best way possible): I told my doctor I had joint problems, and he told me to roll them tighter. I call my weed the Quran. Make sure to vote for the ones that made you laugh the hardest. A rabbit is running in the woods, he sees a giraffe smoking pot. Answer: You studied five days for a urine test. Pot Jokes - The Pot. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. Planning out the holiday potluck in the company kitchen. An Irishman and a Scotsman are having a drink in a bar when the Scotsman says to the Irishman, "I hear you can make a lot of money by shooting crocodiles in Australia for crocodile skin shoes because they are worth a lot in the U. Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted. Send these hilarious weed puns to your stoner friends in a funny text message or a cheeky greeting in a birthday card. This is a list of 42 stupid stoner quips, puns, and jokes about parenting and weed. What do you call a stoner's wife? Mississippi. I think all documentaries should be watched this way. you wanna?" 👍🏼 What do you call a pothead that murders? Stonedface killer. A rabbit is running in the woods, he sees a giraffe smoking pot. Inhale the good sh t and exhale the bad sh t. This should be a joint decision. I'm on a seaweed diet I see weed i smoke it. Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!" Joke has 80. Cannabis Puns, Weed Jokes, Flammable 420 Humor. *Potato Head Three stoners rob a 7-11. When Chinese babies are born they should stamp “Made in China” on them. I guess it's true what they say Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains. Indian Spiced Chard and Potatoes. What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs? Via Heavy. What do you call it when the blunt burns your shirt? A pothole. No one believes you Bill, you can’t fool anyone. She said if I did she'd leave me. Following is our collection of funny Marijuana jokes. Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" Vote: share joke Joke has 85. What do you call a place where marijuana is legal but alcohol isn't? High and dry. I guess it's true what they say Marijuana truly is an. ” 15 Cristela Alonzo on Not Smoking Weed When Life Sucks “When I was in college, I got high one time, and everything slowed down. Therefore I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist. Smoking Pot Doesn't Make You A Bad Person T-Shirt A stoner sits on the balcony and smokes a fat joint. Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ? A: When you start looking. There was a tea party going on. Utah teapot: The Utah teapot, or the Newell teapot, is a 3D test model that has become a standard reference object and an in-joke within the computer graphics community Teapot Dome scandal: The Teapot Dome scandal was a bribery scandal involving the administration of United States President Warren G. Of course, not all of these weed jokes are funny, but it all depends on your sense of humor. The Quran is like weed Burn it and you get stoned. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. Two dudes are smoking pot. What did the stoner's girlfriend say? If I can't marry a dude, I'll Mary Jane. Funniest Weed Jokes Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted Cowboys don’t roll joints. Why did the stoner cross the street? Via Vibe. Light up and enjoy these 10 funny stoner jokes that we have found! Jokes and cannabis go together like peanut butter and jelly. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter -he’s got to just know. Where have you bean all my life? I like you a latte.